But Is This From God?
(Only a month since my last post... I'm getting better! ;) Enjoy!)
Is there something on your mind that's just lingering and has been for a while? Do you try not to think about it but it still creeps in? Are you struggling to determine if this is something from God or a temptation of some sort? I call those caps. Yep, caps.
I've been seeking wisdom from those I think are extremely wise and in-tune with determining whether or not I should acknowledge or dismiss this lingering cap.
So far while acquiring wisdom, I have been asked these two questions which really hit home for me:
1. How do I know this cap is from God/ how do I know it's not Satan toying with my emotions?
Is it something that would please God?
Is it something that will bring you closer to Him?
Is it something God would want for you?
If you answered yes, read on :)
If you answered no, then there's your answer-- it is most likely not from God.
2. Are you not pursuing this cap because you are afraid of it not working out?
This could be a career, relationship, school, what have you. If you are dismissing this reoccurring cap because you are scared of being hurt or failing then that is NO reason to ignore it.
Maybe you're afraid, but maybe this is God's will for your life. Fear is not a reason to not take your shot at something God has put in your heart. You have to dig deep and decide if the fear of being hurt/ failing outweighs the fear of letting it pass you by.
My answers to these questions:
Yes- this would please God, it is something God would want for my life, it would glorify his name, it would bring me closer to Him.
And yes- I am terrified of seeing this cap fail, or getting hurt along the way.
The entire time my lingering cap has been around I have been ignoring it and, its signs, with the mindset that "if God wants this to happen, then He will make it happen," in my mind I was giving it to God.
HOWEVER, what I only just now realized is that I was dismissing this cap because I didn't want to get crushed, but I was telling myself that I gave to to God-- that fear caused me to push it completely away instead of walking through the open windows and doors that God put in my path because I was expecting God to just "snap" and make it happen if He wanted. The funny part is I know backwards and forwards it does not work that way-- we have to choose to follow God and obey His signs.
[That may have been confusing because it is! I hope it made enough sense to read on.]
See, in my situation there have been small signs that I would scare the bigeezes out of me and therefore I would dismiss it and say "God will make it happen if it's His will."
But do you see how I was contradicting myself?
I was actually ignoring God's will by ignoring the signs because my fear had become bigger than my faith.
BOOM. I hope that made it a little more clear.
Now, knowing all of this, I still am not sure what God's exact purpose for me is with this cap he's put in my heart. Maybe it's the journey He wants me to endure. And the things I encounter along the way is what he wants me to learn and that's all. Or maybe the end result of actually achieving this desire is the purpose. I have no idea. But I'm also no longer afraid to find out.
Why? Because what's the worse that could happen? I am seeking Him and focusing on Him first and foremost, and I know that by doing that I will not be steered wrong or lead astray.
"But seek first the kingdom of God above all else and He will give you everything you need." Matt 6:33
"Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4
"But Ashlea, aren't you scared of heart break and pain?" UM YES. But I'm more scared of not following this desire the Lord has put on my heart and missing out on whatever opportunity is in store for me.
"But Ashlea, I though you said God will make it happen if it's what he wants, so you won't miss out?"
Only if you are seeking and obeying Him!!!!!
That part is extremely important. In fact it's THE most important thing. Ever. Always.
"In ALL your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path." Proverbs 3:6
So what's on your heart
How did you answer those first few questions?
This was a VERY condensed version of all that I've learned from the incredible and Godly women in my life, but I'm hope it was able to at least get you seeking for wisdom in your own community or in His word.
And always, if you have questions, want to talk through what's on your heart, or want to pray, I am always up for that.